Family Rules
Brush your teeth. Pick up your feet. Do as you've been told, when you're told. Close the fridge. Wipe up the juice. Don't use a tea towel, use paper towel. On the counter. Tie your shoes. Hands to yourself. Don't stomp up the stairs. Eat everything on your plate. Get your feet off the seat. Take your garbage with you. Did you brush your teeth? Don't put the empty pickle jar back in the fridge. CLOSE THE FRIDGE! Finish your water bottle. Finish the whole bottle. STICK YOUR HEAD UNDER THE TAP, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BOTTLE! Be kind to your brother. Say please. Say thank you. Get your feet out of his face. The couch is to be shared. Turn off the video game. Turn OFF the video game. TURN IT OFF! Give me those headphones, I'll give them back when I get my voice back. Keep asking questions, yes. Questions are good. Get in the car. IN. Get in the car. Hands inside, guys. Hands inside. Use soap. Do as you're told, when you're told. Change your underpants. No, you wore those yesterday. Yes, you did. Why are you still arguing with me? Go to your room. Don't stomp, Daddy's sleeping. Close the door quietly. Wipe up the crumbs. There. RIGHT THERE! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEM??? Find your glasses. Turn off the video game. Clean your glasses. Turn OFF the video game. PUT THEM ON YOUR FACE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Wear sunscreen. And repellent. Well, hold your breath then. Burned is worse. You can SO breathe, stop being dramatic. Yes, I'm trying to kill you. You've found me out. Because you didn't brush your teeth. Dude, I can smell you from here. Get in the car. Hands inside. Tie your laces. You know that thing you do, when you drag your feet across every surface like a Neanderthal? Stop doing that. Tie your laces. No, you didn't. If you had, I wouldn't be asking you. Leave the window control alone. No it wasn't him, it was you. His control thing is on HIS side...HANDS TO YOURSELF! Find something to do. Rinse the dishes first. Towels on the rack. Towels on the rack. Brush your teeth. Fine, sleep naked, I don't care. Get your bum out of your brother's face. No, I was RIGHT HERE. Yes, I saw. He did not. GET INTO BED! No, only one chapter. One. That's what I said. One. Less if you keep this up. Get your feet off the wall. Yes, they ARE dirty. Because you didn't use soap, like I told you to. Get your FEET OFF your BROTHER. Your bed. No. No sleepovers with each other. Your bed. NOW. Lights out. Lights out. Stop scaring him like that...no that's not an alien come to take you away, it's your brother. Yes, I can smell AND see him. Because he didn't use soap. Snuggle down, now. Put your sillies away. Have good dreams. See you in mine. Well, because it would be lovely, wouldn't it? Because in my dreams, you use soap and brush your teeth and get in the car when I say. Never mind. Forget it. Know that I love you. Yes, I do. No, not more than your brother, differently. I'm sure. Because you're different people. Stop asking questions. For the love of GOD, please go to sleep. GO TO SLEEP! We'll try again tomorrow...
